A Thinklings post from April Crull

Well, women of CA, as our sole representative (at a 13:1 ratio much of the weekend) to the recent Thinklings gathering, I thought I should write something up - as review of sorts perhaps.

When I was 15, I did a school report on Sojourner Truth, a vital leader in the Underground Railroad that liberated thousands of slaves during America's slave-holding days. She has a famous speech which is titled "Ain't I a woman!" Something about that line resonated with me, but I always thought of myself as a leader despite or in spite of my being female. In other words, I could get top marks "even though" I was a woman. I could voice my opinion in class, "just like any man." I could be on my team "the same as" my husband.

Lately however, I've been sorting through what allows me to be a leader, and a good leader, because I am female. What do I as a woman have to offer others as I lead them or those I co-lead with. I used to think that to acknowledge a difference was to open the door to being "put in my place." I am now starting to feel that acknowledging difference is actually to offer strength to a situation.

A lot of events in the last three years have contributed to this process. One of the major ones was the process of finding my place on a church-planting team, especially since I had come from a church background where stated female leadership was not allowed. As a result of feeling blatantly different at times, and also working closely with my husband and discovering time and time again that we just go about things differently, I began to read about women in leadership - trying to find fresh voices and alternative perspectives. One of the places where I have been finding relevant questions and discussions is on the blogs I wrote about here a few months ago. Another place is in the book that I read for Thinklings. In it, the author Jeanne Porter, offers new images to add to our language of leadership. These images are based on more female experiences and biblical women - you can read my summary of it here (pdf).

One of the quotes in the book that most impacted me was this one: "Perhaps the comments 'I don't see you as a woman' reveal an unconscious desire to strip the leader of her womanness. They certainly ignore the unique perspective that the woman leader brings to the conversation specifically because she is a woman." By providing new images in the book, she provides a way of accepting and even celebrating or requiring diversity, even in leadership. And not just diversity through gender, but also through ethnicity, culture, and age.

Another paper at the Thinklings focused on the requirement of diversity in leadership, specifically male and female diversity. In his paper, Wes White writes, "I urge that we will continue to bear the fruit of the latter [seeing what one knows, not what one sees] unless we encourage the balance, honesty, and holism available in a vigorous feminine epistemology. The need, obviously, is for ecclesial cultures that encourage the strategic place of women in all levels of leadership as Seers who so emancipate love that..."transcending the sensible" is possible. It accentuates the beauty of relationships...and is translated through the "caress" as much as anything else. It reminds us that the full expression of beauty requires the feminine touch, apart from which the attractive attributes of happiness and joy remains nothing more than out of reach ideals. Without female Seers, the pursuit of beauty is one-sided, and in fact, bereft."

And so, I am encouraged that I am in the place that I am because I am a woman, not despite it. I'm continuing to sort out what that means. What does it mean to be male and female in general and for me? What differences am I comfortable with and what differences are true?

In the meantime, I am also encouraged that I am at Thinklings because I am a woman, not despite it. But one voice really isn't enough. These are the conversations you need to be a part of - no, these are the conversations that need you to be a part of them, because without you they are "one-sided, and in fact, bereft."

So let's help each other out. Is there a woman on your team who you think would be interested in coming to Thinklings? Find a book to read together and write a paper together about it. Is it other commitments - not interest - that prevent her from coming? Offer to help out with kids for the weekend she is gone, take over ministry commitments for a short time, or babysit for a few afternoons so she can take time to read and write. Find out what the topic of Thinklings is and start thinking about how it applies to the ministry you are already doing - what insights do you have to offer. Because the field is wide-open - you don't have to be academic to come to Thinklings - just your normal, thoughtful self.